Saw this today in one of my emails and got the biggest giggle out of them.. thought I would share.. 

Paraprosdokians: figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or a phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous. Winston Churchill was a fan.

1. Where there is a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ..... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agree with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up .... we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

11. I used to be indecisive, but now I am not sure.

12. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

13. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

14. You are never too old to learn something stupid.

15. I am supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder for me to find one now.

Spread the laughter,  share the cheer!